Narrator: Every Who down in Who-ville liked Christmas a lot...
But the Grinch,who lived just North of Who-ville, did NOT!

Rain:  ... wait, is that Rain's cue?

Writer:  Yes, you're the Grinch.  

Rain:  ... seriously?

Writer:  Seriously.

Rain: ... FRIGGEN SWEET!!!  Rain is the star yet AGAIN!!!  Wait, does Rain have to rhyme or can he just free wing it?

Writer:  You can do your own thing.  Don't worry about rhyming.

Rain:  DOUBLE FRIGGEN SWEET!!!

Narrator: The Grinch hated Christmas! The whole Christmas season!
Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason.


Rain: ... its cause Rain's a dick ^__^.  Mystery solved!!

Narrator: It could be that his head wasn't screwed on quite right.
It could be, perhaps, that his shoes were to tight.

Rain: ... no ... it pretty much goes back to Rain being a dick >_>

Narrator:  But I think that the most likely reason of all
May have been that his heart was two sizes too small.

Rain:  Close enough!!!  Rain IS pretty heartless unless there is a kitten involved.  Rain would watch an orphanage burned if it proved to have an entertainment value ^___^

Narrator:  But, whatever the reason, his heart or his shoes,
He stood there on Christmas Eve, hating the Whos,

Rain:  ... the Whos?  Eh, sure, why not.  Rain can hate them! Sounds like fun!!

Writer:  Aiko and Ebony are part of the Who's.  

Rain: ... ok, yea, Rain TOTALLY hates the Who's.

Narrator:  Staring down from his cave with a sour, Grinchy frown
At the warm lighted windows below in their town.

Rain: >_____< .... does that count as a Grinchy frown?

Narrator:  For he knew every Who down in Who-ville beneath
Was busy now, hanging a mistleoe wreath.

Rain:  A mistletoe wreath?  Really?  Man these Who's are lame >_>.  Know what Rain's gonna be hanging?  The Who's!!  ^___^

Rain:  "And they're hanging their stockings!" he snarled with a sneer.
"Tomorrow is Christmas! It's practically here!"

Rain: O_o ... the story made me say that ... I swear!!!

Narrator:  Then he growled, with his grinch fingers nervously drumming,
Rain:       "I MUST find a way to keep Christmas from coming!"

Narrator:   For, tomorrow, he knew...

Narrator:  ...All the Who girls and all the Who boys
Would wake up bright and early. They'd rush for their toys!

Rain:  ... when Rain finishes hanging the Who's he's taking those toys.  Rain likes toys ^_^.  Rain demands cool toys!!

Narrator:  And then! Oh, the noise! Oh, the noise! Noise! Noise! Noise!
That's one thing he hated! The NOISE! NOISE! NOISE! NOISE!

Rain:  Rain does actually hate too much noise unless its kitten meows.  ... or the senseless gasping of Who's grasping for breath due to the hanging thing.  Mmmmmmm hanging Who's.

Narrator:  Then the Whos, young and old, would sit down to a feast.
And they'd feast! And they'd feast!
And they'd FEAST! FEAST! FEAST! FEAST!

Rain:  Thats an awful lot of feasting >_>.  Rain shall invite zombies so that they can share in the feasting ^____^

Writer:  Dude, you're just freaking people out now.

Rain: ... Rain didn't invite you into HIS story >_>

Narrator:  They would start on Who-pudding, and rare Who-roast-beast
Which was something the Grinch couldn't stand in the least!

Rain:  Mainly because its called Who pudding and Who roast beast.  Makes it sound like its made out of the Who's.  See, thats just GROSS!!!!  They're cannibals!!! O___O

Narrator:  And THEN
They'd do something he liked least of all!
Every Who down in Who-ville, the tall and the small,
Would stand close together, with Christmas bells ringing.
They'd stand hand-in-hand. And the Whos would start singing!

Rain: ... are you serious?  LAME!!!

Narrator:  They'd sing! And they'd sing!
AND they'd SING! SING! SING! SING!
And the more the Grinch thought of the Who-Christmas-Sing
The more the Grinch thought,

Rain:  "I must stop this whole thing!
Why for fifty-three years I've put up with it now!
I MUST stop Christmas from coming! ...But HOW?"

Rain: ... well Rain guesses he already said it so he guesses he has to stop Christmas.  Kittenmas, on the other hand, is STILL a go ^____^

Narrator:  Then he got an idea!
An awful idea!
THE GRINCH
GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA!

Rain:  HANG THE WHO'S!!!!  HANG EM GOOD!!!  BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

Narrator:  "I know just what to do!" The Grinch Laughed in his throat.
And he made a quick Santy Claus hat and a coat.
And he chuckled, and clucked, "What a great Grinchy trick!
"With this coat and this hat, I'll look just like Saint Nick!"

Rain:  ... ok, Rain guesses thats a good idea for me to do too.  Yes, Rain will turn into Santa!!!  Now ... all Rain needs is a reindeer.

Narrator:  The Grinch looked around.
But since reindeer are scarce, there was none to be found.
Did that stop the old Grinch...?
No! The Grinch simply said,

Rain:  "If Rain can't find a reindeer, he will make one instead!!"

Narrator:  So he called his dog Max.

Rain:  MAX!!  OH MAX!!!

(Xytres walks out)

Xytres: ... you have GOT to be screwing with me.  You are NOT casting me as Max the dog!!!  Not to RAIN!!!

Writer:  And yet here we are, proving you wrong.

Rain:  O_O ... RAIN RULES ALL!!!  MWAHAHAHA!!!

Xytres: ... if Sabal and Azaelyn didn't promise me some EXTRA fun for Christmas, I would totally kill myself right now.  Like ... dead.

Rain:  Extra fun?

Xytres:  Oh you know it.

Rain: ... did they ever tell you that the extra special thing would INCLUDE you?

Xytres: ... ah &%$@ing hell!!

Rain:  Yea, thats what Rain thought.  Now get over here doggy boy!! BWAHAHAHAHA!!!

Xytres: ... oh this is so degrading.

Narrator:  Then he took some red thread
And he tied a big horn on top of his head.

Xytres: ... tehee ... I'm "horny".  Get it?!  HA!!

Rain: ... ok, its no wonder you didn't get a REAL speaking part.  

Xytres: ... I hope you die in this version >_>

Narrator:  THEN
He loaded some bags
And some old empty sacks
On a ramshakle sleigh
And he hitched up old Max.

Rain:  (shackles Xytres to the front of the sled)  ... where is a camera where you need one?

Xytres:  If you took a picture of me like this, I would kill you.  Like I mean SERIOUSLY kill you.  No painful reckoning could save you.

Rain: ... and yet all Rain hears is "Bark bark bark, yip yip"  ^____^

Xytres: ... there is no justice in the world >_>

Rain:  Now then ... "GIDDYAP!"

Narrator: Said the Grinch,
And the sleigh started down
Toward the homes where the Whos
Lay a-snooze in their town.

(In a Who House)

Aiko: (in bed with Ebony)   You're snoring!!

Ebony:  I DON'T snore and I'm not even asleep yet!  You're imagining things.

Aiko:  Yea, I'm IMAGINING what sounds like a yeti dying next to me.

Ebony:  Well you're out of your pretty damned mind.

Aiko: ... you said I'm pretty ^__^

Ebony: ... no I didn't >_>

Aiko:  You DID!!  I heard it.

Ebony:  You heard NOTHING!!  Go back to bed before Santa shows up.

Aiko:  Teehee ... you said I'm pretty ^_____^

Ebony:  ... if Santa brings me the Gun and Bullet I asked for, I'm calling the gift "The Escape" T____T

Aiko: .... preeeeeeetttyyyyyyyyyy

Ebony:  SHUT UP!!

Aiko:  .... pretty pretty Aiko ^___^

Ebony:  (smothers himself in a pillow) ... please let me black out ... please oh please.

(Back to the story)

Rain:  Rain is coming for your goodies, Aiko and Ebony!!!  BWAHAHAHAH!!

Narrator: All their windows were dark. Quiet snow filled the air.
All the Whos were all dreaming sweet dreams without care
When he came to the first house in the square.

Azaelyn:  ( A who asleep in a who house) mmmmm .... oh Exile .... that a boy ...

(Outside)

Xytres: ... oh HELL no!!! T_________T

Rain:  HA HA!!  BURN!!  Anyway, "This is stop number one!"
Narrator:  The old grinchy clause hissed.
And he climbed to the roof, empty bags in his fist!

Narrator:  Then he slid down the chimney. A rather tight pinch.
But if Santa could do it, then so could the Grinch.

Rain:  Dang straight!  Whatever he can do Rain can do better.  As a matter of fact ... (ethereals down the chimney)  WOOT!!!  RAIN RULES ALL!!!!

Narrator:  He got stuck only once, for a moment or two.
Then he stuck his head out of the fireplace flue
Where the little Who stockings all hung in a row.
Rain: "These stockings," he grinned, "are the first things to go!"

Rain:  (peeking around inside) ... Rain is coming for your souls next O__O

Narrator:  Then he slithered and slunk, with a smile most unpleasant,
Around the whole room, and he took every present!

Rain:  YOINK!!  YOINK YOINK!!  GRAB!! STEAL!!!  SWIPE!!  MURDER!!!

Xytres:  (outside)  There ws NOTHING about murdering in that whole line you asshat.

Rain: ... awww ... all Rain still hears is "yip yip yip, woof woof".  You want a bone boy?

Xytres:  Do I look like Ebony?

Rain:  SNAP!!

(Elsewhere in a Who home)

Ebony:  (snapping awake)  I'M NOT GAY!!  (goes back to sleep)

(Back to the other two)

Rain: ... he DOES realize he's sleeping in the same bed with a dude, doesn't he?

Xytres:  Dude, its anyones guess anymore.  

Narrator:  Pop guns! And bicycles! Roller skates! Drums!
Checkerboards! Tricycles! Popcorn! And plums!

Rain:  (picking up the plums) ... man some parent REALLY hated their kid this year O_o

Narrator:  And he stuffed them in bags. Then the Grinch, very nimbly,
Stuffed all the bags, one by one, up the chimney!

Rain:  Dexterity 22 baby!!!  Nimblest thing around!!

Xytres:  (outside)  I have a dex of 24 Naturally without boosting items, 30 with my gloves.

Rain: ... and you're ALSO tied to Rain's sled, wearing antlers, and being called a dog.  Someone Rain thinks your dexterity matters little here >_>

Narrator:  Then he slunk to the icebox. He took the Whos' feast!
He took the Who-pudding! He took the roast beast!
He cleaned out that icebox as quick as a flash.
Why, that Grinch even took their last can of Who-hash!

Xytres: ... why the bloody hell are you taking their ice??

Rain: ... so they can't make their drinks cold?

Xytres:  You just took everything out of their fridge you dick!!  I don't think they have drinks to MAKE cold!

Rain:  They could still get water from the faucet.  Rain's not taking any chances of them having even a SLIGHTLY good Christmas.

Xytres:  Oh yes, nothing makes a good Christmas like cold water >_>

Rain: ... woof.

Narrator: Then he stuffed all the food up the chimney with glee.
Rain:  "And NOW!" grinned the Grinch, "I will stuff up the tree!"

Narrator:  And the Grinch grabbed the tree, and he started to shove
When he heard a small sound like the coo of a dove.
He turned around fast, and he saw a small Who!
Little Cindy-Lou Who, who was not more than two.

Maylae:  (groggy, looking around) ... hey Maylae is older then 2!!!

Rain:  Mentally?

Maylae: ... Maylae likes Christmas ^____^

Rain: ... the story may now continue >_>

Narrator:  The Grinch had been caught by this little Who daughter
Who'd got out of bed for a cup of cold water.
She stared at the Grinch and said,

Maylae: "Santy Claus, why,
Why are you taking our Christmas tree? WHY?"

Rain:  ....

Maylae:  ANSWER MAYLAE OR SHE WILL CARVE OUT YOUR EYES AND FEAST UPON YOUR FLESH FOR STEALING HER CHRISTMAS TREE!!!  SHE WILL DESTROY YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Narrator:  But, you know, that old Grinch was so smart and so slick
He thought up a lie, and he thought it up quick!

Rain:  (Inner Rain)  ... the tree is a killer ghost tree?  Nah, she's a spirit shaman, she'll know.  Hmmm ... it has lice!! ... do trees get lice?  Well they don't but does SHE know that?

Maylae:  (her eye twitching) O____O

Rain:  (Inner Rain) ... Rain thinks she's doing good to just know her own name >_> ... WAIT!!  RAIN HAS IT!!

Rain:  "Why, my sweet little tot," the fake Santy Claus lied,
"There's a light on this tree that won't light on one side.
"So I'm taking it home to my workshop, my dear.
"I'll fix it up there. Then I'll bring it back here."

Narrator:  And his fib fooled the child. Then he patted her head
And he got her a drink and he sent her to bed.

Rain:  OH MY GOD!!  SHE TOTALLY BOUGHT IT!!!  HAHAHAHAH!!!!  Rain has 0 Ranks in Bluff but Maylae has -10 in Common Sense!!  Be careful you stupid girl not to trip over your own AIR!!  Man, Rain has to start a petition to make sure that girl doesn't breed.  The extinction of the world right there.

Narrator:  And when Cindy-Lou Who went to bed with her cup,
HE went to the chimney and stuffed the tree up!

Rain: ... you're telling Rain that he had a hard time getting down the chimney but this big ol tree has NO problems?  ... and SANTA can?  Rain is feeling offended >_>

Narrator:  Then the last thing he took
Was the log for their fire.
Then he went up the chimney himself, the old liar.
On their walls he left nothing but hooks, and some wire.

Rain: Hehehe, Rain is being a petty criminal!!  This is why you can't have a Good alignment.  You miss out on so much FUN stuff!!!  VANDALISM!!!

Narrator:  And the one speck of food
The he left in the house
Was a crumb that was even too small for a mouse.
Then
He did the same thing
To the other Whos' houses

Rain:  Man, did you see that!!  Rain totally robbed them BLIND!!  He just took EVERYTHING!!  And they never even woke up except for the Blond who's missing a few chromosomes.  

Xytres:  You mean Maylae?  Man she's such a babe.

Rain: ...  you go to the Special Olympics to pick up chicks don't you?

Xytres: ... thats none of your business.

Narrator:  It was quarter past dawn...
All the Whos, still a-bed
All the Whos, still a-snooze
When he packed up his sled,
Packed it up with their presents! The ribbons! The wrappings!
The tags! And the tinsel! The trimmings! The trappings!

Rain:  (clapping his hands)  All done!!  Rain cleaned this stupid little town CLEAN!!  

Xytres:  Did you manage to steal from Ebony and Aiko too?

Rain:  (shuddering) ... we are never to speak of that again.

(Earlier)

Rain:  (in Aiko and Ebony's bedroom, stealing things)  BWAHAHAHA.  Rain is in your rooms, stealing your presents!!!

(Rain starts to take their blanket when Aiko rolls over in his sleep and cuddles around Rain)

Rain:  O___O .... (Inner Rain)  Keep it cool, Rain.  If Rain freaks out now, its all over!

Aiko:  (Asleep and dreaming, nuzzling his head against Rain's crotch) mmmmm ... oh Isilme ... I see you have a nice arrow "shaft" for little Aiko.

Rain: O__O ... Rain's gonna gavomit

(Writer's Note:  Token phrase by little brother meaning to Gag and to Vomit at the same time)

Aiko:  (petting Rain's ass, squeezing it) mmmmm ... oh baby ... Ebony you're wanting to join in too?  Fill up the holes boys ......

Rain:  O__________________O

Aiko:  (now licking Rain's leg) ... take me to heaven boys .... close ... close .... OH YESSSS!!!  

Rain: O____________________________O (Inner Rain) ... did he just have a wet ... did he just .... while holding Rain .... oh god ... Rain wants to die .... T_____________T

(Rain manages to get loose and run fleeing)

Ebony:  (rolling over and mumbling when Rain flees) ... that was mean of you.

Aiko: ... I know ... which is why I did it ^___^.

(Back outside)

Rain:  Anyway ... saddle up buddy.  Time for you to pull my sleigh up that hill!!!

Xytres:  (looking at the tons of lbs of toys and stuff) ... you're out of your pasty white mind.

Rain:  Its the story buddy.  Don't hate on Rain, hate on Dr. Seuss.

Xytres: ... tch ... not even a real doctor I bet >_>

Narrator:  Three thousand feet up! Up the side of Mount Crumpit,
He rode to the tiptop to dump it!

Rain:  "Pooh-pooh to the Whos!" he was grinch-ish-ly humming.
"They're finding out now that no Christmas is coming!

Xytres: ... did you just tell the Who's to all have bowl movements?

Rain: ... huh ... I guess I did.

Xytres: ... you're a total doushe man.

Rain: ... WOOF!   Anyway!! "They're just waking up! I know just what they'll do!
"Their mouths will hang open a minute or two
"The all the Whos down in Who-ville will all cry BOO-HOO!"

Xytres: ... sounds like you might cry instead after finally getting to third base with Aiko.

Rain:  RAIN SAID WE WILL NEVER SPEAK OF THAT!!  AND HOW DID YOU KNOW!?!

Xytres:  Got a copy of the script ...

Rain: ... Rain will dump you with the toys if you speak a word >_>

Xytres:  ^___^

Rain:  Anyway, I have business!  If the Who's are to cry then ... then ...!!
"That's a noise," grinned the Grinch,
"That I simply must hear!"
Narrator:  So he paused. And the Grinch put a hand to his ear.

Xytres: ... maybe the ear is where Aiko will go next time ...

Rain:  RAIN SAID SILENCE!!!!  T_______T

Narrator:  And he did hear a sound rising over the snow.
It started in low. Then it started to grow...

Xytres:  Heh ... started to grow ... kinda like Aiko in his sleep when you were there to ---

Rain:  SILENCE!!!!  Rain will soon sing the song to you of "1-2-3-4 Hide the Body, Hide the Body" if you keep it up >_>

Narrator:  But the sound wasn't sad!
Why, this sound sounded merry!
It couldn't be so!
But it WAS merry! VERY!

Rain: ... come again?

Xytres:  Thats what he said.

Rain: ... you are dead to Rain >_>

Narrator:  He stared down at Who-ville!
The Grinch popped his eyes!
Then he shook!
What he saw was a shocking surprise!

Xytres:  If its Maylae in her underwear, I'm TOTALLY looking too.

Narrator:  Every Who down in Who-ville, the tall and the small,
Was singing! Without any presents at all!
He HADN'T stopped Christmas from coming!
IT CAME!
Somehow or other, it came just the same!

Rain:  NO!!  Impossible!!  CHRISTMAS IS STUFF!!!!!  What the bloody flip!!???  COME ON!!!

Narrator:  And the Grinch, with his grinch-feet ice-cold in the snow,
Stood puzzling and puzzling:

Rain:  "How could it be so?
It came without ribbons! It came without tags!
"It came without packages, boxes or bags!"

Xytres:  HA!!  You suck!!  You can't even do a simple job on ONE town!!  Ghostwalkers SUCK!!
  
Rain: ... Rain WILL cut you.

Narrator:And he puzzled three hours, `till his puzzler was sore.
Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before!

Xytres: ... was it that for three hours you stood on the frozen hill like a dumb ass?  Or maybe you thought about how fat your ass looks in those pants.

Rain: ... Rain actually thinks he will forgive you for once ... because ... because ...
"Maybe Christmas," he thought, "doesn't come from a store.
"Maybe Christmas...perhaps...means a little bit more!"

Xytres: ... tch, whatever.  Its about the gifts man.  Whatever is going on with you, keep it to your girly ass self.  

Narrator:  And what happened then...?
Well...in Who-ville they say
That the Grinch's small heart
Grew three sizes that day!

Rain:  Rain ... feels ..... (twitch twitch) .... HAPPY!!!!!!!

Narrator:  And the minute his heart didn't feel quite so tight,
He whizzed with his load through the bright morning light
And he brought back the toys! And the food for the feast!
And he...

...HE HIMSELF...!
The Grinch carved the roast beast!

(At the Diner Table)

Rain:  Rain likes Christmas now!  Rain is glad to have friends to share it with ^__^.

Xytres: ... dude, you're so gay.

Aiko: (stabbing Xytres in the shoulder)  And is there something WRONG with that?  (twisting the dagger)

Xytres:  OH DEAR GOD IT HURTS!!!!  

Aiko:  (twisting it again)  IS THERE!?!

Xytres:  NO!!! (crying)  No no no!!  ITS THE BEST THING EVER!!  (crying from pain)

Aiko:  (pulling out the dagger)  Good boy.  Oh Rain!!  (winks at Rain)

Rain:  O_O ... Rain is scarred for life ... T___T

Ebony: (whispering to Aiko) ... you know he brought back everything you should PROBABLY be nice enough to tell him you were faking it.

Aiko:  No way!! This is my Christmas gift to myself!!

Maylae:  Maylae likes having her presents back!!

Azaelyn: ... thats great ... now if you could make my drow male stop staring at your chest >_>

Xytres: ... would you believed I was just looking for my contacts?

Azaelyn:  No, but you should believe my sneak attack damage is enough to have you walking bowlegged the rest of your life.

Rain:  So this is it then, the big Christmas Season.
Xytres:  Where people get along, no matter the reason?

Maylae:  Its the greatest day, no doubt the very berry best.
Azaelyn:  And Xytres will be dead if he doesn't get his eyes off your chest!

Aiko:  So another year down, but we've had some great fun.
Ebony:  Merry Christmas to all, now this chibi is DONE!!!